So when setting this up, I wasn’t really sure what it would be. A blog!? Seems a bit “old fashioned” for this day and age. Maybe a diary of sorts? Even more old fashioned. Then I thought, why not? Outlets are healthy, so here goes.
Today I finished Lol Tolhurst’s book Cured. It was fantastic on multiple levels for me. First, as a Cure fan, hearing the stories of their childhood and school years was fascinating. I love these types of stories from musicians I like, and especially this group. It was like some sort of origin story so popular with the comic book circles, only these were some of my superheroes! I won’t get into some sort of retelling of the book, suffice to say I was enthralled with the story telling.
I must admit that even though I claim to be a fan of the Cure, I haven’t really studied them like I wish I had. Over the years my music tastes have swung all over the spectrum, nearly. While early in high school, and even when I was younger thanks to my brother, I loved the Cure. I would listen to certain album over and over. I had a group of friends that also loved them. As I got on a bit I found myself listening to many other groups that were getting harder, faster, and angrier, much like many a teenage cliche`. I would listen less and less for a couple of reasons, one was that I was struggling with my ideas of sexuality, and many of their songs would bring up some feelings that I might want to hide. Second was that I was having some serious emotional issues with my own anger and depression, and I often felt the longing, sadness, love, and many other emotions when I would listen and I was not capable at that time of regulating or processing my emotions in any sort of way, and listening to the Cure often sent me into spirals I could not manage very well.
The other thing that really resonated with me about this book was the way alcohol had played a part in his life. From the way it effected his father and his relationship with him, along with other problems his father had, to what role it played in his life directly. His descriptions of nights partying, and how they morphed into panic mornings not remembering what happened the night before, and hoping it wasn’t too bad really struck a nerve with me. I don’t know what it’s like to be Lol, but I know those feelings he had. I understood what he was talking about intimately. There was a part where he drove out to the desert to find something by leaving everything, not his words, and having done something eerily similar this also hit me hard. I could feel myself on my own journey that is never a straight line, but zig zagging all over the place. These moments are precious, and hopefully we are allowed more than one per lifetime, and he reminded me of that. I picked this book up hoping to learn about the Cure and reconnect with the love of their music, and ended up with a better understanding of the people in the band, and a better understanding of myself and others. Thanks LOL!
