How to do mindful meditation & lead a mindful life

Mindfulness meditation (picture source: http://www.wellawareness.com.au/event/retreat-gratefulness-at-farrants-hill/)

A mindful life: A manual for me –  how to do mindful meditation & lead a mindful life

This is a manual for me. You do not have to follow this. Oh well, if you bumped into it and want to read along, welcome.

As this is a manual for me, I do not need to remind myself why I need mindful meditation, but I need to remind myself why I need to develop a practice everyday diligently without losing anything. Well here are the reasons:

  • If I do not, and give up even for a single day, it will build into another day that I will not. Soon the days stack up. Not good.
  • It takes between months and years to develop a good practice and just minutes to give up. Don’t want to do that.
  • It is needed.

Anyway, so the steps for sitting meditation:

  1. Step 1. Get a cushion so that you can sit comfortably. Sitting is important here so that when you sit, it should be like a “mountain”. The two knees should touch the ground, and the pelvis should be “slightly” forward and the small of the back barely touching the cushion. If possible, need to get a zabuton and a mat. Else, get a plain cushion and this will work as well. If you cannot get a zabuton, get yourself a seiza bench and use the seiza bench to kneel down. The reason you want to do this is to make sure that you sit comfortably for long periods (we are looking at least 45 minutes per seating). The floor needs to be heated (do not do this on a cold floor, it is a good idea to get a bedsheet or something that provides some insulation. Remember even The Buddha used grass mats when he was sitting in the forest for meditation.
  2. Step 2: Now that you have found a mat and a cushion and have sat, rock and roll your body a few times here and there, back and forth to really get into a comfortable position, and start the timer or as Thich Nhat Hanh says, “invite the bell”. On your smartphone, download the “Insight timer”, or else use a standard timer or a kitchen timer than can “ding” or timer in the phone, or something that can signal the end of a period of time. Set the timer for 35 minutes. Now, if you are starting out, set the timer for 20 minutes, and gradually increase the sitting time over many weeks. The idea is this, once you set this, you should be able to forget you set the timer till the timer beeps again. So, do not pay attention to the timer ever again. This is why set the timer for a beginning and an end bell or signal, DO NOT set the timer for interval beeps. Interval beeps may be fun to begin with but soon you will find that they are a hassle. Do not settle for any time less than 10 minutes, it won’t work well for meditation at all.
  3. Step 3: Now that you have found a position to sit, and set the timer, close your eyes. Although the scriptures tell you to half close your eyes (which is _actually_ a better idea to keep from falling asleep), I’d say close your eyes in the first place. Let the body loose, and hang effortlessly. The right palm should rest on the left hand and the thumbs should VERY LIGHTLY (barely) tough each other. The head should be upright and slightly tilted backwards. The tongue should touch the roof of the mouth (hard palate). Now, watch your breath. Normally, you will not realise how we breathe. Here you will. Just watch when you breathe. Where EXACTLY does the breath enter your body? The tip of the nostril, right? Where is it, how is the feel of the air that comes in? How is the feel of the air that rushes out? You do not have to “think” of the anatomical passage of the breath, just note where the air enters and leaves the body. You may also find that your chest heaves up as you inhale, and drops as you exhale. That is fine too, and in that case, note that. You may find that your abdomen rises as you inhale and falls as you exhale.
    Seriously. That’s all there to it. Just note the in flow of air and out flow of air. Sit comfortably, and keep noticing it.
  4. Step 4: As you continue to do so, some thoughts will occur in your mind. Some images will flow in, some of them will urge you not to continue. Perhaps an upcoming meeting for which you will need to prepare, so got to get up now. Or may be an email were to be sent. A book chapter or an article was meant to be read which you have neglected, the messages need to be checked. Watch those thoughts, and NAME them: urgency, email, meeting …, keep naming them silently. Feel their rush in the body. But keep coming back to watching the breath. In and out. Rise and fall.
    After a while, the head is going to itch. Note WHERE exactly is it itching. What is the nature of that itch? Is it tickling? Is it painful? Is there an insect that crawls along the body? Do not intervene, in spite of the urge to use your hand to rub that itch. Just watch as it rises and it will go away. This is _impermanence_, well a form of it. Things rise, they stay, and they go away. The same thing is with the thought. The world can wait your 20 minutes of meditation, it is not going to fall apart. You are in a safe place where you are anchored to your breath. You are breathing, it means you are alive. Keep coming back to the breath.
    When you do so, you will feel that there is an urgency that you must check the time. How much time has elapsed? How many more minutes? These are normal thoughts. These will arise. Note that thought, and try to enjoy the moment. It is NOT about the length of your sit, it is about your sitting. Just note the in-breath and out-breath, er …, compete with yourself to see how long you can maintain that attention to the breath at a stretch. Then a thought comes and drags you away. Fine, go with the flow, but gently come back in. Do not blame yourself for going astray, do not fret, these are normal things. Happen. This is why you are sitting here today.
  5. Step 5: Now the foot hurts, and there are pins and needles. If you want get up, change or shift the position, change the order of the legs, watch as the “pins and needles” become intense and then gradually drop, and fade. All the while maintain your attention on the breath, nothing else.
  6. Step 6: The timer beeps, letting you know that the meditation period is over. Do not get up immediately. If it is a gong, let the “last” ring die down, then gradually, very slowly, like in a slow motion, open your eyes. If you are sitting in front of an altar, bow down and touch the ground with forehead and fold your hands. Get up slowly, like really slowly.

From this point onwards, everything you do, think of the steps of doing so. Break down every task into steps of the tasks, and then observe each step. Even if you are a master in some of these, break down the steps and observe yourself doing each of the steps mindfully. From walking to talking to eating, to showering to shaving to driving a vehicle, or riding a bike or even exercising, this mindful noting and deliberate slowing down is very important.

How do I make it a habit?

Several pointers here. These pretty much work for everything, not just meditation, but meditation too.

  1. Set up a time every day no matter what. The best routine is to do it right after waking up. After waking up, do a simple set of Darebee stretching exercises (links to a PDF),
  2. Then start the above mindfulness meditation process. Also/Or, do this before retiring to the bed for night. Twice a day is really good. Both stretching and meditation.
  3. Ven. Ajan Chah is reputed to have advised make a cup of tea and sit in the cushion. It will bring in the sense of meditation needed.
  4. Subhana Barzaghi advises to use your meditation cushion as an “inviter”, develop a sense of belongingness to the cushion as if it asks you to go and sit there. Have a dedicated space in the house for this (this could be your meditation room, or if you live in a small space, identify a block of space where you will do it)
  5. Jerry Seinfeld would advise to maintain a chain (“Seinfeld’s chain”); use a calendar and a felt tipped marker pen. Do one day, and mark it with a pen, and repeat for every day you do this practice. Your aim will be not to break this pattern at all and make as large a chain as you can.

Anyway, the trick is to:

The five precepts and hindrances

Now that you have established a regular practice of mindful breath watching (this is true for every activity, keep anchored on the breath), there are five precepts to take and five hindrances to be mindful about. First the precepts and then the hindrances to be mindful about.

  1. Precept 1: Do not kill
    Do not kill is an extreme statement: most people would not entertain the idea of killing anyone or anything, but on a more extended metaphorical sense, do not “harm” anyone or do not entertain any thoughts that seek to be harmful or rude with anyone. The list can be extended that do not be rude, do not kill small beings such as insects or flies (instead figure out ways in which you can blow them away or open a door or window so that they can fly away, or capture them with bare hands or capture them with pieces of paper, or somehow allowing safe passages to the pests so that they do not get a chance to annoy you and still can escape safely away from you. Mosquito repellents are good investments or ways to keep out the mosquitoes, not necessarily killing or swatting them). This is tricky but you can extend the concept.
    A related concept is to be mindful about the planet and reduce my animal meat intake. This will improve my carbon footprint and help to preserve the planet. Leading a plant-based diet has numerous health benefits worth exploring and this is also helpful to lead a life in this manner. Reducing or eilminating animal meat intake would mean that less animals (farm or otherwise) get killed to satisfy my craving for food. We can have food that are equally nourishing in other ways.
  2. Precept 2: Do not steal
    This is less nuanced and more straightforward. Do not accept for yourself anything that’s not “yours” or not lawfully yours, or not something that you should normally possess. This gets subjective but basically, do not steal is just that. If we were map my journey across a day or week, that’d mean I’d not “sample” food in an unguarded snack corner in a supermarket (that’s the easiest bit), definitely not “steal” or find illegal short cuts or cheats in any way. Do not cheat anyone in ANY WAY. If you read something somewhere and wanted to use that knowledge, attribute that knowledge to the proper person. Do not impersonate, do not fake yourself, do not resort to forgery, no cheating whatsoever. If you are a student or in academics, do not misattribute or do not forget to attribute references, that kind of thing.
  3. Precept 3: Do not lieApart from “do not speak the untruth”, interpret this as “do not flatter anyone”, and when you speak, speak from the heart, and try to stick to the truth or evidence. If you do not know something, do not claim you know it. Do not fake. Be honest, and be genuine. It is easy to say this, and it is easier to follow.
  4. Precept 4: Do not have improper sexual relationships
    This is basic moral principle.
  5. Precept 5: Do not use intoxicants
    Do not use cigarettes or tobaccos, and basically anything that leads to intoxication: tobacco, drugs, alcohols, gambling, etc.

Basically, following the five precepts helps to lead a life that is centred around your breath as an anchor as life is simplified and less things to worry about. Can start at any time. If you can bring up a personality that is gentle and polite and not intent on harming anyone (including yourself: so with a stress free mind and regular exercise to keep yourself fit), a firm and principled stand with less worries about using drugs or intoxicants in any form to remain steady, the introspective meditative states of figuring out the breath becomes easier.

But it is not that easy, and what blocks the way are five of the following:

  1. Greed. — You are cruising along fine, when you realise you want more. Want more of something that could fulfil your need or what you should. This is a tough call, and this is where your mental balance or sense of happiness goes for a toss. A good balance against this is to be aware of minimalism: Ryan Nicodamus and Joshua Milburn have a good blog chockfull with posts worth reading. Greed or desire is often the first thing that derails the process of finding a balance through mindfulness meditation anchored in breath. So, be aware of the sense of greed arising and learn to deal with it. Going minimalist and taking a stand is a good way to deal with it.
  2. Aversion. — The opposite of greed but in a bad way. So instead of jumping for everything, now you start hating or developing a sense of disgust for things, people, events. Not good either. Try to develop a sense of curiosity that will help you to overcome this sense of aversion or disgust or a negative feeling.
  3. Restlessness. — it messes up with productivity. Go slow. This is directly opposite mindfulness. Try to do everything with a rhythm, it is OK to be slower than usual, just be extra watchful. Watch your speech, watch your actions. Do it with a rhythm. Restlessness will directly interfere with your daily practice. Hyperactivity and attention deficit will make you check your timer every now and then, will make you rushed. Learn to deal with it. Slow down.
  4. Torpor. — The opposite of restlessness but in a bad way. So you become lazy and do not want to continue with the practice anymore. When you sense this, speed up. Pace up, do not give in easily. Because torpor will lead to aversion sooner or later and will smash its way through. It’s a tough one to win over.
  5. Doubt. — This is the worst. You are going on well, not expecting to “see” any progress but doing what you need to do, and you start doubting as to what’s going on. Don’t. Start a process and stick to it. Do not waver. The best way to overcome doubt is to read, speak with people who are “on the way”, practice and practice more.

So once you start balancing the five precepts leading a wholesome life and challenging and overcoming the five hindrances that will try to derail you from the practice, the practice starts getting settled. It’s simple really:

  • Anchor everything on breath to lead a balanced life
  • Set up principles and big principles at that to be gentle, pro-life, healthful, honest, helping and weave in these principles with breath meditation at all times
  • Be mindful that there can be bouts of doubts, laziness, disgust, greed kick in and you will need to rein in or practice the opposite good stuff more and stronger than ever to tide over.
  • Read, practice, and watch plenty of books. When possible, join retreats. Be generous.

Concentrating on the four foundations

The breath meditation and anchoring on the breath meditation at all times is a great place to begin. This is what The Buddha described as the mindfulness of the body. Focus on the breath and through the breath to the rest of the body. Feel the different parts of the body, starting with the head, heart, abdomen, the limbs. If there are pains and aches, try to “breathe” into the physical discomfort and “ease” into life.

Beyond body (or mindfulness of the body), now start focusing, as you are in between breaths, on the feelings that arise as you sit on the cushion, and indeed at all times. Is the feeling pleasant? Note how or in which way the feeling is pleasant. Can you name it? Then name it. Watch how the feeling of being pleasant gradually dissipates. There is nothing wrong with the feeling disspating, as a persistent feeling of “pleasure” tends to start playing a repetitive record in the head and starts telling you a story. You do not want that. You do not want either that you have unpleasant feelings. Feel that. Name it. See how it dissipates. The most important thing is to note if there are “neutral” feelings. What are they? Where did they arise? How do they recede?

As you continue in the meditation, focus now on the mental formations. What is my state of the mind? What am I thinking? What is the nature of this thought? Can I name this thought at the moment? What is my moment to moment awareness?

Continue and stay with the thought as you see it arise and dissipate. Then, move a step beyond and start understanding or “seeing” the theory of the mental model or the world.

These are the four foundations of mindfulness — the mindfulness of the body, the mindfulness of the feelings, the mindfulness of the mind, and the mindfulness of the phenomena that The Buddha taught. It takes a while to complete that entire journey but once you start doing that, it is a refreshing feeling. You reach the state of insight.

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