I said to myself, I am not going to rant in blogs anymore. If I did write a rant, it would be about me. After all there is plenty of hurt and anger in my past to fill a blog for several years before writers block would sit in. But there are times when things outside of myself do tend to make me anger and hurt and I should express those when it happens not bottle it up.
What is something that has made me anger and hurt? Well it is something that has been simmering for a long time. Something that flares up once in a while when I go and see it.
I know if you are reading this, the thought that would come to mind would be “Just avoid what makes me anger and hurt.” I wish things in life where that simple.
But I cannot avoid it. I am trying to satisfy a need in my life and in the process I run across it. Maybe I should just give up and not to try to satisfy the need and accept that. But I always hope that this time it would be different.
But it never is different. Maybe because what I am looking for is like trying to find a needle in the haystack. I want the needle but I hate the haystack it is in. But I really want the needle. I jump into the haystack hoping I will find it. But then being surrounded by the hay just really gets on my nerves. I find myself no longer wanting the needle, and filled with this contempt and hatred for hay.
There are also times when I think I do find the needle. That the search is finally over and I will no longer have the desire to find the needle and have to put up with the hay. But the needle endss up being a piece of hay that looks like a needle. That is what really makes me anger and hurt more than the hay. The thought that I did find the needle and it wasn’t.
Well that was not that much of a rant. Pretty tame compared to rants of the past. Using the needle and hay to symbolize what I want and hate help tone it down. What do I mean by them? Does it really matter to you the reader what they mean to me? I am sure there is something in your life that they could symboliize and understand what I am talking about in this post.
Maybe one day I will find a way to get rid of the hay altogether so all that is there is the needle. Then again I might pick the winning numbers in the lottery.
