Well I have achieved the first step. Started my new blogs and made posts on them. But now I face a new problem and it scares me.
That is what I want to write about is also the same things that I don’t what to write about. Another contradiction in a life that is full of contradictions. One thing I have learn about myself is that I often in a tug of war with myself over what to do.
The things I want to write about are about things that I keep to myself. I keep them to myself because it was safer to do that. I do love discussing things with people and getting their insights about things. But these things when I discuss them, I am often ashamed or sorry that I brought them up. So I have learned to keep them very close to my heart and discuss things with most people I feel safe doing it.
But at the same time, I do want to write about them. To bring them out in the open. More for myself than anything else. To say this what I think and who I am. Even if noone reads what I write here, at least it is out there.
So I am going to go ahead and try to write about those things. It is going to be a struggle at times. Might spend a lot of time writing only not to post them or delete them later because I am scared about writing them. It will be a challenge but I am going to go ahead and try. In life that is all we can do is try.
